


the fake!courting au

by dearwhimsy



Category: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-03 09:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12745281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearwhimsy/pseuds/dearwhimsy
Summary: Elizabeth and Darcy hatch a scheme to make way for true love by faking love.





	1. seven minutes in heaven

It was odd, Elizabeth contemplated, for a man of Darcy’s stature and height to look so like a frightened rabbit cornered by wolves. Especially when the wolves were half his height and dressed in delicate silks. Granted some of those rings did look rather sharp. But truly the gentleman bore a distinctly hunted look. It was such that for all their mutual dislike, she felt a certain amount of pity for him. Something Jane only shook her head at when Elizabeth confessed it to her.  

“Oh Lizzy, can you not forgive and forget Mr. Darcy’s comment from that night? Mr. Bingley has assured me that Mr. Darcy was simply in a very poor mood that night and did not mean it at all.”

Elizabeth refrained from rolling her eyes. “I dare say Mr. Darcy is in a ‘very poor mood’ most nights. And days too!”

Jane could only sigh and resign herself as usual to her sister’s stubbornness. Instead, she turned her attention back to Mr. Bingley who was now dancing with yet another young lady that his sisters had introduced to him. Only a few feet away and yet as distant as the sun. Seeing her sister’s forlorn looks, Elizabeth pursed her lips. They had been in town for nearly a two weeks and this was only the second time that Jane had even been in the same room as Mr. Bingley. What a disappointment after their time at Netherfield and on the road.

Mr. Bingley had been all attention and courtesies at Netherfield where he and Mr. Darcy had been the guests of the new tenant, Mr. Richards. In those brief few weeks, Elizabeth had witnessed Jane and Mr. Bingley become progressively infatuated with each other. When it had been discovered that all parties had meant to travel to town at the same time, Mr. Bingley had been delighted to offer his carriage to them. And she had been delighted to accept on a blushing Jane’s behalf. Even Mr. and Mrs. Richards had been delighted at having more companions for the road. Only Mr. Darcy had seemed unhappy. Mercifully, he was his typical quiet and sullen self during the trip and Elizabeth easily distracted herself from his presence by observing Jane and Mr. Bingley’s continued romance.

Unfortunately, all the promises of calling and dances had been dispersed the moment they arrived in town and Mr. Bingley’s sisters promptly absconded with him. Though they were all friendliness and politeness on first meeting, it was rather clear from their actions that they did not approve of their brother’s interest in Jane. The two of them had been thus far annoyingly skilled in corralling him from one engagement to another, keeping him busy long past appropriate calling hours. Even tonight, the moment he appeared to move towards Jane, they had swooped in and practically dragged him away to meet yet another acquaintance of theirs. Almost always, those acquaintances were young eligible ladies.

“Lizzy, I confess myself rather weary. I would like to go home,” Jane finally sighed. Elizabeth pursed her lips but nodded. The night was almost over and the two lovebirds had not even managed more than two lines of greeting thanks to the interference by Mr. Bingley’s sisters. In comparison, Elizabeth had exchanged almost a dozen words with Mr. Darcy during their dance. It was truly most aggravating.

Throwing one last look towards Mr. Bingley, she and Jane went to fetch their coats so that they might leave.

\--

Darcy had not meant to overhear Miss Elizabeth’s conversation with the elder Miss Bennet. However, he had been startled when he’d heard approaching footsteps and muffled ladies’ voices. Panicked at the thought that Miss Grey or one of the other eligible ladies of society had discovered his escape and might attempt to strongarm him into escorting her home, he had leapt behind a pile of coats and pulled his own greatcoat over his head just as the door had opened. Being that it would have been rather hard to explain why he was now crouching behind the stack of coats, he was now forced to remain hidden in that uncomfortable position and listen.

“-by wolves dressed in silk! I am simply saying that if Mr. Darcy is so frightened of eligible young ladies, he ought to marry already and be done with it.”

Darcy frowned at Miss Elizabeth’s words. He was not frightened of eligible young ladies! He shifted and the fur of his greatcoat tickled his nose and he had to fight not to sneeze and give away his presence. Because he was hiding behind a pile of coats. From eligible young ladies…

Alright, perhaps he was a touch frightened of certain eligible young ladies.

“What a thing to say Lizzy! Are you not always the one saying how you would only ever marry for the deepest love?”

Miss Elizabeth laughed, bright and scornful, “He would have to voluntarily spend time with a lady to fall in love in love with one. And so far, I have yet to see him engage with any unmarried ladies without being forced into it.”

“He asked _you_ to dance. And no one compelled him then,” Miss Bennet pointed out. Darcy found the truth of that rather debatable. Desperate times had called for desperate measures. He had seen Miss Grey and her mother approaching him, likely for the upcoming minuet and with Miss Bingley busy managing her brother on the other side of the room, he had turned to the nearby Miss Elizabeth in desperation. At least Miss Elizabeth would never attempt to take the opportunity to ‘stumble’ into him mid-dance and for all that Miss Elizabeth had a tendency to tease him more than he preferred, at least her conversation was far more intelligible than the simpering he was usually forced to endure.

“What nonsense you speak, Jane! You know very well that he has held me in utter contempt from the night we met!”

Darcy frowned. Though he would not claim her to be his dearest acquaintance, he most definitely never held her in contempt. Whatever had given her that impression? If anything, he considered her one of the more tolerable of his female acquaintances.

“I know that he has regretted his words that night and Mr. Bingley has conveyed his apologies.”

What words? What apologies?

Miss Elizabeth scoffed, “Even if that man developed some sort of impossible affection for me, I would certainly never return it. I would even go so far as to declare him the last man I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

The last man? Surely he was not that poor an option. The numerous ladies attempting to trap him in marriage indicated otherwise.

“Dear Jane, let us talk of more pleasant topics. I dare say you were rather admiring of Mr. Bingley’s new waistcoat tonight?”

“Lizzy!”

“And _he_ seemed very admiring of your dress.”

“Oh Lizzy, do not tease!”

“Alas, if only his dearest sisters were not constantly demanding his presence, I dare say he would have danced the entire night with you.”

“Please, will you not tea-”

“Miss Bennet! Miss Elizabeth!”

Darcy hunched down further under his greatcoat, cursing his inconvenient stature. Bingley would never let him live it down if he found him hiding from ladies in a coat closet. Again.

Luckily Bingley had eyes for none but Miss Bennet.

“Mr. Bingley! Do you mean to leave as well?”

“Ah no, Caroline says Darcy disappeared again and I have been sent to help find him. But I am ever so glad to have chanced upon the two of you! Miss Bennet, will you dance with me? Well, if you are not leaving. I suppose that is why the two of you might be here fetching your coats. Only, I have I have been very much desiring to dance with you all night! It is simply that my sisters have been unusually demanding of my presence tonight that I have not yet had the chance. And then you were gone after my last dance and I could not find you and then Caroline, yes, well, I just hope you are not leaving already. Oh please say so!”

“Mr. Bingley, I can assure you we are not leaving. I simply needed to fetch something from my coat. And Jane would be delighted to dance the next set with you. Jane?”

“I…yes! I would be delighted!”

Darcy waited a few additional minutes after the door closed and their voices disappeared before breathing a sigh of relief and emerging from behind the pile of coats. Last man she could marry! What a thing to say!

\--

“Oh! Miss Elizabeth, what were you attempting to find? Did you find it?”

Surprised that Mr. Bingley had even thought of her with Jane present, Elizabeth nearly stumbled.

“Ah yes, the…item. Why it completely slipped my mind! Please go ahead, I will go back to fetch it.”

Thankfully, Mr. Bingley’s attention had already turned back to Jane before she had even finished speaking. Breathing a sigh of relief, Elizabeth scurried back to the coat room, intending to fetch an extra handkerchief or such from her coat and then hurrying back in case Miss Bingley attempted to interfere yet again. Elizabeth would simply not stand for it anymore.

Her plans were rather drastically sidetracked though when she flung open the closet door to find Mr. Darcy standing there, coat in one hand and the other flung out in surprise.

She stared at him and he stared back. Then she turned and looked down the hallway where Jane and Mr. Bingley had just disappeared down the corner. A hallway in which it  would have been rather difficult to miss Mr. Darcy coming down the other direction. Which could only lead to one conclusion.

“How…how long were you hiding in there?”

The violent flush on Mr. Darcy’s face answered it all. Elizabeth could not help but blush herself. If that man had been there the entire time, then he must have heard all that she had said about him. She was unsure which of them ought to be more embarrassed but there was certainly no shortage of shame and blame to be passed around in this situation.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and strode over to her coat under Darcy’s silent stare, rummaging through its pocket to come up with an extra handkerchief. Then turning and looking determinedly at the space left of Mr. Darcy’s head, she stated, “I dare say that a good memory is to both our detriments in this situation. I shall forget you were here and _you_ will forget the words you overheard since you were _not_ here.”

Darcy stared at her for a moment longer before nodding.

With that, Elizabeth made to leave. Just as she was about to exit the doorway though, Darcy finally spoke.

“The very last man?”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. Had he not understood what she had just said? Or did it simply please him to be as contrary as possible.

“Sir, this is to neither our benefits.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Sir! Why must you persist in this conversation?” Elizabeth cried out, spinning back towards him.

“I am a rather desirable bachelor by society’s standards. My character is good, my lineage impeccable, and I am in possession of a sizable fortune. There are, as you have noticed, a number of ladies who would be happy to be my wife.”

“Deliriously so, I am sure,” Elizabeth retorted, “If it will satisfy your ego, simply continue to think of this as yet another failing of mine. You may add it to my barely tolerable looks and failure to hold opinions appropriate for ladies, and congratulate yourself on escaping my attentions.”

Darcy frowned at her.

“You promise that even if I were to offer for your hand, you would reject me without a second thought?”

“Yes! Are you satisfied Sir?!”

“No.”

Elizabeth contemplated throwing something at Mr. Darcy’s obstinate head. Unfortunately she only had a handkerchief and that would hardly cause him the pain she desired to inflict.

“Then what more do you want? I tire of this game.”

“You were right when you said that having a wife would help deflect much the attention from the ladies pursuing me. You were also right in that I have no desire to marry any of _them_.”

Elizabeth stared at him. Surely he was not suggesting…

“I am not marrying you. We were _just_ discussing how I would never marry you.”

Darcy, to Elizabeth’s indignation, smirked at her.

“Exactly. You will never marry me and thus will never treat it seriously if I attempt to court you.”

In a rare event, Elizabeth found herself speechless.

“Miss Elizabeth, I tire of being chased. I am not asking you to accept any advances. The opposite really. I only ask that you allow me to use you as an excuse to escape the machinations of the society ladies and their matchmaking matrons. Perhaps help me fend them off if the situation calls for it. That and to continue to refuse to marry me.”

Elizabeth laughed helplessly.

“You Sir, have been reading too many of Shakespeare’s comedies. What you propose is absolutely ridiculous. And I refuse to be a part of such a farce!”

“It would be to your benefit as well.”

Elizabeth shook her head.

“To be chased by a man that I do not care for nor he me? Pray do explain. My curiosity overwhelms.”

“The more time we spend together, the more time your sister and Bingley would be able to spend together.”

Elizabeth tilted her head, not comprehending the connection between the two but reluctantly interested. As if sensing it, Darcy smiled triumphantly. He laid his greatcoat back down and offered his arm.

“Walk with me, Miss Elizabeth, and allow me to explain it to you.”

This was madness. Utter madness. And yet the memory of Jane’s despondency as they watched Mr. Bingley be introduced and forced to dance with yet another of Miss Bingley’s friends prompted Elizabeth to take Mr. Darcy’s arm. If he could truly do as he promised, perhaps it would be worth considering.

After all, it was not as if either of them were in danger of anything worse than a few more awkward encounters. And what was that compared to the happiness of her dearest sister?

\--

Darcy stared at Miss Elizabeth from across the carriage. On the other side of the carriage, Bingley was busy staring at the other Miss Bennet. Miss Bingley, by some odd machinations, was sitting between the two sisters and looked almost haggard as she was forced to split her attentions between the two pairs. Darcy wondered that her neck did not grow tired as she swiveled from engaging one sister to the other.

Miss Elizabeth looked exceedingly pleased at Miss Bingley's difficulties. Miss Bennet did not seem to notice, too busy blushing at Bingley’s attentions. Darcy felt rather pleased himself for having suggested the plan. It was already working even better than he could have hoped.

Never had his exit from a ball been speedier than with Miss Elizabeth’s help. In most instances, unless he snuck out without warning, he would be subject to at least half a dozen ladies attempting to maneuver him into escorting them home. With Miss Elizabeth professing to have already ‘claimed’ his company and coach, he only had to stand and nod as she wove excuse after excuse why it would be terribly inconvenient for all if there were to be any additional party members. The only concession of course, being when Miss Bingley, teeth almost visibly clenched, hurried to offer the more spacious Bingley coach on account of their ‘great’ friendship.

Even now though, Darcy still felt a sense of detachment from reality. Miss Elizabeth had the right of it; it was utter madness. He had in truth come close to dismissing the plan and begging Miss Elizabeth to forget his momentary madness on multiple occasions. But something drove him to continue on course, to seek to persuade her when she looked to balk.

From the moment, she had walked away from him without even a backwards glance in that coat closet, all that he could think of was how perfectly she would play such a role. He had of course considered marrying before. Both for his sake and for Georgiana’s. Particularly so after this past summer’s debacle. However, even when he returned to town with the mindset of finding a wife at last, he found himself quickly reminded of why he had retained his bachelorhood thus far. He may not have had high hopes for a love match as his parents had obtained by great fortune, but he did hope to at least find his wife tolerable. Unfortunately, he was beginning to think even that a near impossibility.

But if it was simply to escape the unwanted attentions of the eligible ladies of the Ton, it needed not necessarily be a wife. Simply showing attention to a specific lady would help deflect some of the pressure. That was at least two sets where he could claim a prior engagement. A dinner companion that would not cause him to lose his appetite, be it from their strong perfume or their fawning. Perhaps he would even be so lucky and Aunt Catherine would be so enraged by the news that she would cut off ties and finally stop demanding he marry Anne.

If nothing else, at least some of the attention would be diverted from hunting him towards attacking her. This thought had caused him a pang of guilt when explaining the plan. Miss Elizabeth had only laughed though and assured him that she was more than equal to withstanding the machinations of some jealous ladies. He had smiled back; he too had every confidence in her to stand her ground against any of the society ladies. And if perhaps some of that confidence might be imparted to his dear Georgiana, that would be yet another additional benefit of the plan.

The only thing that did truly bother him was that she was working on the assumption that given the time and space, Bingley would fall in love with her sister. While not technically inaccurate, as Bingley would fall in love with any lady who stood still long enough for him to pay her his addresses, he also fell out of love just as easily. If Darcy had a sixpence for every heart that Bingley had broken, he’d be even richer than his uncle the Earl.

He had tried to warn Miss Elizabeth of this as well though it pained him to speak of such a fault in his friend. But as with his other warning, Miss Elizabeth dismissed it. Darcy shrugged. He had done his duty. And perhaps for once Bingley’s attentions would not waver. It was certainly bearing out to be one of his stronger infatuations at least.

At last, the carriage arrived at the Gracechurch street where the Bennet sisters were residing with their Aunt and Uncle. While Miss Bingley hovered over Bingley and Miss Bennet’s farewells, Darcy took the opportunity to talk to Miss Elizabeth in relative privacy.

“Miss Elizabeth, might I suggest a walk in ----park tomorrow? There is a lovely grove of ash trees in the northwest area that I believe you and your sister might enjoy.”

“A wonderful suggestion, Mr. Darcy,” Miss Elizabeth smiled, eyes sparkling with mischief, “I will be sure to follow it.”

They did not have a chance to talk any further before Miss Bingley had hurried back to his side, Bingley firmly in her grasp though his gaze was still firmly fixed on Miss Bennet’s figure.

“Well, it is most late and regrettably we must leave! Mr. Darcy, are you not ready?”

Darcy nodded and followed them into the carriage. As the carriage left though, he could not help but out the window to catch one last glimpse of the Bennet sisters. He was beginning to almost look forward to the next social function.

\--

Elizabeth watched Jane nearly skip down the street as they walked back from the ----park. As implied to her last night, both Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley had been waiting in the ash groves at ----park. They enjoyed nearly an hour’s solitude walking through the paths before they had been stumbled upon by another party. During that hour though, Mr. Bingley and Jane had been very enamored with each other’s company that they scarcely noticed when Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy had rather deliberately fallen behind. Whilst the two true lovebirds walked ahead, the two fake ones plotted their details of their scheme in quiet whispers.

Ridiculous as it was, Elizabeth could not help but admit to herself that it was really quite fun. As for Mr. Darcy, now that he had rather humbled himself for the sake of this scheme, she even found him far more tolerable than before. Of course, she would keep to her promise and never hold any true romantic affections for him. However, his company was perhaps no longer as tiresome as she had once felt it.

Even if it were, she would bear it a thousand times over to see Jane this happy.

“Oh Lizzy, is today not beautiful? Is it not glorious?”

Elizabeth stared up at the cloudy skies and laughed.

What glorious day indeed!


	2. Richard is long for Dick

Somewhere between the discussion on the advantages of cuirasses versus sabers, Richard realized that he’d had lost track of Darcy. He scanned the room looking for the man in case he’d been cornered by debutantes and required rescuing. A task that was at times more arduous and dangerous than any military battle.

 

He found Bingley first, standing the corner of the room near the punch. As was typical for him, he was deep in conversation with a very handsome lady with golden curls and a simple yet elegant pink muslin dress. No tall gloomy gentleman was to be found hovering over the pair.

 

In a different corner, a few of the more established bachelors had gathered but once again no Darcy. Richard frowned. He certainly hoped Darcy was not back to hiding behind any tapestries or in some closet again. Or worse, fled altogether and abandoned Richard at the ball without a carriage. He did not even have any coins on him tonight to hire one, having only arrived at Darcy’s townhouse just in time to brush off the road dust before accompanying him to Lady Matilda’s dinner ball. He looked over the room again, searching near the exits in case of an escaping figure.

 

Aha! There surrounded by almost an entire gaggle of ladies and their matrons, Darcy stood tall and proud and…not desperate to flee?

 

Richard nearly fumbled the glass in his hands. Why the man looked to be enjoying himself even! In fact, he appeared to be smiling widely at the dark haired lady who was currently looking up at him with a rather piqued expression. Hers was an unfamiliar face, an oddity as Richard was familiar with almost all of Darcy’s closer acquaintances. The few that he had at any rate and he had not mentioned any new friends. Especially a lady friend at that! How exciting!

 

Save for family, Darcy had a strong tendency to avoid those of the fairer sex. Despite his overbearing demeanor, Richard knew his cousin to be of a much more reserved personality than people would expect of a man of his status. His social reticence had only been heightened when he was suddenly thrust into the role of one of Society’s most eligible bachelors, having come into his role as master of Pemberly at a tragically early age. With over 10000 pounds a year, connections to nobility, and only a younger sister that would surely be married out in time in the way of close family, the poor man had been the favorite target of matchmaking mamas and their daughters before he had even seen twenty years. His handsome mien certainly did not hurt either despite all his constant scowling.

 

Indeed, the aggressive pursuit by the _gentle_ ladies of Society, had left a strong impression on Darcy. Namely, that of terror and disgust. Thus, to see Darcy engaging with a lady in such a manner at a social ball was certainly a sight to behold. It had Richard simply awash with curiosity. How did Darcy know her? Where did she come from? _What was her name?_

 

Abandoning his current compatriots to their argument without so much as a goodbye, Richard quickly made his way across the room, intent on finding out more about Darcy’s mysterious lady friend.

 

\--

 

He had, Darcy mused, been attempting to use the wrong people as shields all these years. Previously, he had always depended heavily on the protective influences of Bingley or Richard. While they had helped him out of the worst of the situations, they were also just as apt to attempt to force him to socialize as to protect him from it. Unfortunately, they both had the same terrible habit. For all that Darcy sought to _escape_ the clutches of the surrounding ladies, they sometimes _desired_ to be in the clutch of those same ladies. Thus, when a lady was present towards whom Bingley or Richard had an interest in, they were often apt to offer up Darcy’s time and company in order to obtain the same with their lady loves.

 

Not only that, but he supposed that being a lady herself and thus more familiar with their various tricks and thinking and less vulnerable to them, Miss Elizabeth was much more competent at fending off the other ladies than Bingley or Richard had ever been. It had made him nervous at first, when Miss Elizabeth suggested that they always be as far apart from Bingley and Jane as possible when at similar events. He had not been fond of giving up his usual companion at such events. However, as Miss Elizabeth pointed out, it would force Miss Bingley to expand considerably more effort as she struggled to suppress the couples in opposite corners of a rather large ball room. Verily, Darcy felt almost tired himself as he watched Miss Bingley traverse the length of the ballroom more often than those dancing.

 

Even now, he had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep from laughing as he watched Miss Bingley scurry back over towards the opposite corner of the room where Bingley and Jane looked more ready to drink the punch from each others lips rather than their cups, even whilst casting aggravated glances back towards where he and Miss Elizabeth continued their debate which of Lord Byron’s works was most superior. He took solace in that Miss Elizabeth had glanced in that direction and the twitch at the corner of her lips suggested that she was fighting laughter as well.

 

He had a sudden urge to grab her hand and pull her into a lively reel. He could imagine Caroline’s horrified shriek as she would come flying back to break them apart and all of the Ton watching them in stunned amazement and ringing above it all, the delighted laughter that Miss Elizabeth was holding back. Darcy shook his head. What fanciful nonsense. And yet, he mused, very tempting.

 

It seemed the scheme had unlocked something in him. A much more mischievous and fanciful side of him. It was such that he found himself looking forward to attending these social events with Miss Elizabeth at his side.

 

Originally, he had not planned to do more than contribute the bare minimum conversation and allowing Miss Elizabeth to work her art. To his own surprise though, he found himself actively participating in the conversations that Miss Elizabeth without prompting. He was sure that he’d had spoken more at the past ball alone than he had in all the balls of last Season combined. Assured that she would not take his interest in the conversation to be a sign of interest _her,_ and that she would help suppress any expectations in the other ladies, he found himself talking freely around her. Sometimes even taking the opportunity to tease her!

 

It was rather mischievous and perhaps a bit ungrateful of him, to tease his savior so. And yet, the wittiness with which she returned his volleys and the way her eyes practically flashed at his teases made the time pass so enjoyably that he could not help himself.

 

His future wife, Darcy hoped, would be of a similar character to Miss Elizabeth. Such a lady would bring some much needed cheer back to the grounds of Pemberly. He could imagine it now, the hallways echoing with the sound of children playing and a lady’s bright laughter and he smiled at the thought.

 

“Mr. Darcy, you do not pay attention!”

 

Darcy blinked and looked down at Miss Elizabeth’s pouting face. He chuckled.

 

“I beg your pardon; I can only excuse myself that I was distracted by the view.”

 

He bowed deeply in apology, trying to hide his grin at Miss Elizabeth’s exasperated huff at what they both knew to be false flirting and the barely suppressed angry noises coming from the envious ladies around them. In fact, he thought he heard one of them choking behind him. Straightening and throwing a backwards glance to see who he had managed to send into a choking fit, he nearly choked himself.

 

Richard!

 

Indeed, his cousin now stood gaping at him, wine glass held dangerously tilted in one hand and the other halfway raised towards his heart as if he’d suffered a massive shock. Admittedly, Darcy could see how it might have been so.

 

“…Richard.”

 

“…Darcy.”

 

For a moment, awkward silence reigned. Then, as she often did so now, Miss Elizabeth came to his rescue.

 

“Mr. Darcy, you seem to be distracted by the view again. Will you not introduce us to your friend?”

 

Darcy shook himself off.

 

“Indeed. Miss Elizabeth allow me to introduce my cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam. He is taking a much deserved leave from his military duties to visit his family and refamiliarize himself with civilized society. Richard, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet. From Hertfordshire.”

 

\--

 

Richard nearly stumbled as he stepped forward to kiss Miss Elizabeth’s hand, still in shock over hearing Darcy’s blatant flirting. Had that truly been his cousin? Could someone have replaced him in those moments that Richard had lost track of him? Or perhaps he’d finally done as he’d once threatened and hired an impersonator to fulfill his social duties?

 

Richard glanced back up and was greeted with Darcy’s signature scowl hovering behind Miss Elizabeth’s shoulder. No, that was truly Darcy. No one else could have such a fearsome scowl.

 

“Colonel, please let go!”

 

Richard blinked and refocused on Miss Elizabeth who was now blushing furiously, her cheeks a bright rosy red that only highlighted the brightness in her eyes. He felt a tug in his hand and then realized he still held the lady’s hand in his. He stared at the gloved hand in his and wondered if she knew that she potentially held his cousin’s heart in that delicate hand.

 

“Richard. _Richard.”_

 

He stumbled when Darcy practically shoved himself between him and Miss Elizabeth and Miss Elizabeth’s hand slipped out of his grip along with his wine glass.

 

Richard stared up at Darcy with bemusement. He forgot at times how tall his cousin was. It had always given him a rather unfair advantage in fencing and such. A lesser man would have trembled at Darcy’s show of anger. Richard, however, could not find himself to be afraid of a man he'd once seen attempt to hide all six feet something of himself behind a tapestry in fear of two ladies that did even reach his chin. No, if Richard was trembling, it was from glee not terror. After over seven years of watching Darcy flee from eligible ladies, he was beginning to wonder if his cousin was determined to become an eternal bachelor. Or worse, would finally cave to Aunt Catherine’s demands and marry Anne and making them both miserable.

 

If Darcy had managed to find a partner, Richard had always assumed that the future Mrs. Darcy would be a solemn individual, a match in personality as well as family. He had once had hopes for Miss Anne Elliot but she had been swept off her feet by a Navy Captain to become Mrs. Wentworth instead. Never in all his hopes and imaginings though had he imagined Miss Elizabeth. What a contrast to Darcy she made. Short and slight where Darcy was tall and broad. As lively as he was solemn. Though he had seemed very solemn just then! Richard could still hardly believe what he’d seen. Darcy smiling and laughing and _flirting_.

 

What a thing it was to observe a man in love. What a thing it was to see Darcy become undone by this slip of a girl!

 

“Richard, what on earth?! Apologize immediately.” Darcy hissed quietly but fiercely at him even as he gestured for a servant to come clean up the shattered glass and spilled wine.

 

Richard bit his lip to keep from laughing at the seething jealousy on Darcy's face, the almost exact same petulant look as he'd had at age seven and a half when Wickham had won every last chocolate from him in a game of marbles (Wickham had of course cheated. Even then he’d been a little bastard). Then looking around Darcy, Richard favored the still blushing Miss Elizabeth with a rather wicked and frankly unapologetic grin.

 

“My apologies Miss Elizabeth. In my defense, I can only say that I was distracted by the view.”

 

Later, Richard could have sworn he heard Darcy _growl_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i make no promises as to how much followup this will get but hope all yall be having a happy holiday season :D


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